Lesser Known Oshel Ancestors that almost made the Big Time!

Oshels we didn't know about!
Lesser Known Ancestors that almost made the Big Time!

After doing extensive research in the Library of Alexandria,
I have found the following people that were no doubt related to us,
and that History had all but forgotten.
So far this is the list I have come up with, more will be added as they come to light.

3300 BC - Noah Oshel - Boat Builder - went down with his overloaded livestock ship.

1250 BC - Moses Oshel - while leading his followers to "The Land of Milk of Magnesia", he drowned attempting to wade across the Red Sea.

300 BC - Alexander Oshel - Military Leader - Killed by Friendly Fire

64 AD - Nero Oshel - Violin Player - burned to death when his fiddle caught fire

900 AD - Eric Oshel - Viking - lost at sea while sailing to England to sack and ravage, legend has it he actually made a wrong turn and ended up in what is now modern day Rhode Island.

1099 AD - Godfrey Oshel - Crusader - Killed by Muslims while skinny dipping in Turkish Bath during the First Crusade. Rode with Monty Python in search of the Holy Grail.

1231 AD - Tell Oshel - Medieval Chef - After creating the dish "Tuna Noodle Casserole", became the first victim of the Inquisition.

1275 AD - Marco Polo Oshel - Died in poverty after his chain of Chinese take out restaurants failed.

1430 AD - Guttenberg Oshel - Printer - 1st to print Harlequin Romance trash novels - Killed by village men.

1491 AD - Columbus Oshel - Explorer - after setting out to discover new lands in the west, traveled in circles and ended up rediscovering France. Died of Acid Reflux disease.

1500 AD - Leonardo Oshel - Inventor, Painter, Sculptor - Died test flying his invention "The Lead Balloon", his paintings and Art work can be found in most modern day Flea Markets.

1512 AD - Copernicus Oshel - astronomer and mathematician -published an early description of a "heliocentric" model of the solar system, where the Earth was attached to the Sun by a string. Died from infected paper cut.

1517 AD - Martin Luther Oshel - Evangelist - very successful until "The Scandal", died in disbelief.

1609 AD - Galileo Oshel - Astronomer - Executed by the Church for false doctrine, the proposition that the earth is not the center of the universe but slightly off-center.

Do I really have to type a disclaimer saying this is intended as humor?
Embrace the absurd!

Oshels of Pre-History

Oshels we didn't know about! Lesser Known Ancestors that almost made the Big Time!

Oshels we didn't know about!
Lesser Known Ancestors that almost made the Big Time!